again and again

My last class ended a couple hours ago, and I've been inputting the last batch of grades at a cafe near work. Just got an email from one of my students, and all it said was, 'Don't go!' Kind of made me want to stay longer. Almost.

During my exit interview, the final question asked me to describe the best and worst aspects of the job. The worst was the commute. Absolutely. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy (if I had enemies). The best...

Faithful readers would note that I don't really update or talk about life here as much as one might expect. Well here is an update, I gave my formal resignation last week and I'm leaving my job at the end of the month. I've accepted another teaching position in Seoul that is closer to home.

I suppose the main source of my ire was the commute. It took two hours just to get to work, or a sum of four hours each day. I was getting beat, the perks were not justifying the work, and it was all kind of depressing. I was doing the thing that I promised myself I would not do--losing grip on time management, silently absorbing my stress, then my rage, and the resulting unhappiness of making things harder than they had to be.

Leaving was probably one of the biggest, scariest decisions I've had to make in life so far. I'm excited to have made it, to realize that the decisions I make are ultimately mine, and I'll have to deal with the consequences. I wouldn't say I know for sure what's next, but this is what I've done. This is what it's come to. Oh the drama! I'll be okay.

Capo 6  

Am                            E 

Welcomed in to the courts of the King          

         Cmaj7                     D2 

I am ushered in to your presence 

Am                              E 

Lord, I stand on your merciful ground              

              Cmaj7                         D2 

Yet with every step tread with reverence   

              C           F 

And I'll fall facedown                

               Am     G        F 

As Your glory shines around              

              C    F 

Yes, I'll fall facedown                

                Am   G        F 

As Your glory shines around   

Am                          E 

Who is there in the heavens like you?            

            Cmaj7                              D2 

And upon the earth, who's your equal?             

              Am                             E 

You are far above, You're the highest of heights             

             Cmaj7                 D2 

We are bowing down to exalt you

bearing witness

Let go of what you know and honor what exists.

gleefully optimistic meteorologist

happy Father's day

to appa from esther h. lee on Vimeo.

Read here one guy's interview with Sufjan stevens

but if you don't feel like reading the entire thing, pretty much what dominates this article is when the guy starts asking Sufjan about the tenets of Christian faith. The interviewer tries to be balanced, but overall, in his view, the negatives of the Church outweigh the positives. And what's most interesting is that Sufjan agrees:

The church is an institution and it’s incredibly corrupt obviously, but that’s because it’s full of dysfunctional people and people who are hurt and battered and abused. It’s very normal in any institution to have that kind of level of dysfunction. That’s unfortunate. I find it very difficult, I find church culture very difficult you know; I think a lot of churches now are just fundamentally flawed. But that’s true for any institution you know, that’s true for education, universities and it’s definitely true for corporations because of greed, and I think part of faith is having to be reconciled with a flawed community. But the principles, I don’t think the principles have changed. They can get skewed and they can get abused and dogma can reign supreme, but I think the fundamentals, it’s really just about love. Loving God and loving your neighbour and giving up everything for God. The principles of that, the basis of that is very pure and life changing.

I can see myself growing just as or even more disillusioned by church culture. Don't be mistaken. I deeply love the community I got to be a part of during college--learned so much. But to me, christians generally hold a dogmatic adherence to strict interpretations of scripture and underestimate how dismissive they've become to alternate points of view. Now that I'm older, I can see how those tendencies leave this world a mess.

If you read the whole interview, you may have noticed both the interviewer and Sufjan respond to each other very candidly, revealing enough to understand where each is coming from. Say what you will about their theology, but conversations like this probably aren't happening enough.