there's been talk about cool lately...

determining cool can be a tricky process. unlike being hip, which suggests that you know what’s happening, and unlike being down, which suggests you are in with the in crowd, being cool is a fiercely individual characteristic. going your own way at your pace is cool. trying to be cool is oxymoronic. asking people what’s cool is uncool, and telling people what’s cool...as i'm doing right now in this very sentence, is even less cool. but breaking the rules is cool so there’s always that out and having an out is cool.

reviving my blog thru romulus

It is probably the saddest song I've heard in my life. It's a story about parental abandonment from the pov of her kid which is pretty depressing. But I like this song bc the lines carry rich meaning in its details, like this one that captured the mother's self-destructive and self involved ways: "she smoked in her room and colored her hair / and i was ashamed / i was ashamed of her."

Recently, I tried to convey to a friend why this song resonated with me. Well, for one, I praised my man sufj because he is a master at using words and imagery to convey multiple meanings. But also, I think his playing style is enchanting. His prickly banjo pulls these lines together and tells an intimate story about a kid who has tried to move on from the pain of a neglectful mother. But it's not just about the kid, if u listen closely, both the kid and mom were coping with their own insignificance. I remember a long time ago when my mom dyed her hair. Our relationship was fine yet I still felt a pinch. For a moment, she was different and far away. I never did ask why she did it but I'm sure she had her reasons. anyway, i felt like i heard something new after repeating the song 77x, which is cool but also pretty sad in a completely different way

btw, i have bronchitis. pray for its quick death

wake up

if you’re proud, you won’t pray. If you’re proud, you won’t be thankful. You’ll seek independence from the Word of God, from the authority of God and you’ll lack in biblical prayer. You don’t pray, why? Because you think you can live without God—that’s pride. Remember this Pharisee? He prayed about himself. He really didn’t think he needed prayer. He had no real heart. If you really believe that you need God, you’ll pray with all your heart. John 15:5 says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." That’s a declaration of the state of human beings. Jesus is saying, "As I assess the infinite reality of this world, you can’t do anything without Me." Do we really believe that and know it? We absolutely need God for life and strength. If we were really humble, we’d pray like we absolutely needed to. Prayer is not just a nice thing to do. It’s the inevitable reaction of a soul that sees the spiritual realm. It’s not, "Oh, I guess I need to pray." It’s breath. It’s the inevitable reaction of a soul that sees the reality of the world, of oneself, of God. We need to pray with passion, with all our hearts. You pray the best in crisis and hardships, because you are in a state of humility. In crises we are most humble. We know we are nothing. We say, "I need you, Lord."

What should you do when you can’t pray? You must ask God to show you the reality of your soul. The state of war, reality, spiritual realm, my future, who I am, how weak I am, how fleeting this life is, how dangerous are the temptations that lie ahead—help me to see, Lord! If you see that, you’ll be able to pray. Ask the Lord to open your eyes. "Open the eyes of my heart, Lord." When I can’t pray with my heart, I need to see reality, that I’m in a state of delusion. When you’re not humble, you’re deluded. You’re in a dream-state.

the love of a sinful woman

I recently read a beautiful depiction of Mary, the woman who ran wildly around in search of love but finally found it at the feet of Jesus. I didn't realize that I am that woman. I sell and demand love from everyone but the one who matters. A way to describe her love is explosive. What do I mean? She was so thankful to Jesus that she wanted to anoint Him with expensive perfume, but everything went wrong. Her emotions started to rise and she couldn’t hold back her tears. You don’t plan to cry, unless you’re an actor or actress. She just wanted to anoint Him with perfume but she started to cry and couldnt stop herself. She used her hair to wipe His feet, her face was probably covered in thick makeup. A pool of tears, muddy hair, a broken jar, spilt perfume. She was a self-forgetful mess. She exploded. Emotions, tears, hair, it was an uncontrollable explosion. The whole scene resulted from the explosion of her heart in response to the explosive love given by Jesus Christ. Do you love like that? Is the love that you give to Jesus explosive? Is it a love that you cant help but to express? A love in which theres no way to contain it? Do you love like that? When grace goes in, worship comes out. When grace goes in, tears come out

the greatest.. really

Wimbledon Final 2008 Nadal Vs. Federer from Whizkid One on Vimeo.

paris je t'aime

i miss paris

Fleet Foxes - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

beirut

its been a long long long long time since we smiled and i will let go of my fears my time and in a year maybe this will work out but its been a long since we smiled

i am giddy and this wave will pass im sure but i'm happy so enjoy