#4 THINGS I NEED TO REMIND MYSELF:

-this is only temporary

-nothing lasts forever

-be positive

-everything takes time

it won't be long until morning comes

I woke up late again this morning. You snooze, you lose. what? I missed my bus + had to wait 25 minutes for the next one. sigh!

Today, on the bus, i remembered to eat the snack my aunt packed for me. The strawberries were sweet and satisfying. More snacks should be like that, which leads me to,

#3 Strawberries in korea are the best i ever had!

Anyway, for a few weeks now i've been making a 70 minute commute to work. Each way. That's about 3 hours of travel per day. Yikes. At least the time passes comfortably. The ride is monotonous, but also soothing and meditative, the utter lack of thinking unnecessary, no worry possible in this bus with its heated seats and quiet aisles. It is bliss.

Yet soon, i imagine, it will all become too boring to continue because continuing would be a sort of death and show a terrible lack of respect for my valuable time. So i'd like to move from Bundang, closer, within reach of my school, over the river, all that water, the bridge, all those miles away....to Ilsan, where i will live....alone?

No. No, i wouldn't. Not now. I live too far from my work but i am sure at this point that i should stay here, this is where i will be. More and more my uncle, aunt, their kids are truly becoming family. They constitute the only ties i still have to home and their presence is immeasurably comforting. My progress adjusting here is being followed and checked up on by family and friends abroad as well (this very blog is a testament to that!) and i'm grateful for all the extensions of support. Hopefully it is mutual!

surviving in korea #2

My friend remarked to me on the phone, "There's a line in the movie 'Juno' that i really liked...

Juno: I think i'm in love with you.

Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?

Juno: No, i mean, for real. Cause you're, like, the coolest person i've ever met, and you don't even have to try.

Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually."

We talked about how lots of things...like getting your errands done, buying bread, flossing your teeth and basically keeping your life from degenerating into a state of entropy requires extraordinary effort. And when life actually functions, it looks effortless. Isn't that ironic? Like a sculpture that looks effortlessly crafted or a one handed backhand that looks so carefree...things that take enormous amounts of effort, energy, training, thought to be distilled into one object or moment that looks as though it took no effort at all. What paradox!

During the grueling orientation + training week for CDI, i felt nothing like a teacher--not loud, not powerful, not affecting much at all. But something happened once i met the students--i felt prepared and did not panic. I only thought: Weird, this is exactly what i expected.

Although moving to Korea was a meditated decision, i am sitting here in a room much too big, already bored of devising lessons plans and feeling unsure of what the rest of the year will bring. But! I am here and i want to celebrate it, like d.eggers wrote, "revel in the simultaneous living of an experience and its echoes...the echoes making the experience not cheaper but richer, aha! being that much more layered, the depth luxurious, not soul-sucking or numbing but edifying, ramifying." so there is first the experience: me, moving here. then there are the echoes from these things having been done before (i guess moving in/out of atlanta/chicago) and the awareness of what i learned then, accepting and embracing those lessons as enrichment. and above all recognizing its value in the present. so,

#2 Harder, better, faster, stronger. finally finally finally.

surviving in korea

It's been 2 weeks but i am learning to survive in korea. it has been impossible to ignore so i have to write it out. this will be a little serious, mostly boring, but i promise, you won't be wasting your time.

#1 Koreans are aggressive shoppers!

My uncle and aunt asked if i wanted to join them on a food run to E-mart(a massive grocery store that also sells clothes/accessories). I was willing but not ready. There, i saw what was wrong with Korea, the glaring flaws of it, aghast, amazed. Look how things are! LOOK, at how, for instance, there are all these people pushing, climbing over each other to get on the elevator! Look at how their legs are working and strong enough to use the stairs! Look at how people charge past, and in their hurriedness, literally, move you aside because you are in their way! Have you heard about this? How if this happens, you just have to take it? It's completely ridiculous.

But soon it will be okay. Of course it will take time. A part of surviving here, i realize, is getting through the long day, fighting the weather and the crowds and then still holding a door open for someone.

something marvelous...

Radiolab and NPR Present Words (Music by Keith Kenniff) Winner of the Guggenheim | YouTube Play: A Biennial of Creative Video co from Keith Kenniff on Vimeo.

face/down

"Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, The LORD of hosts." Isaiah 6:5 How do we become undone? When we feel like we are coming apart, when our sins have been exposed and it is all laid before God and He shows you how you look in that sin. Isaiah felt like he was coming apart because he saw and heard the seraphim and then the vision of God. That is what made him feel and believe and know he was undone. He could not measure up or stand in God's glory because he was a man of unclean lips.

But it is when we realize that He already knows the condition of our walk with Him we can realize fully what kind of people we really are. The Bible says in Isaiah 64:6 "And all our righteousnesses are like filthy rags." we are as filthy rags before the Lord. When Isaiah realized what kind of man he was as he was contrasting himself to the seraphim and then as He contrasted himself to God, he said “Woe is me, for I am undone!” The very thing we measure ourselves to is God and His Word and all His ways and now Isaiah sees the seraphim and realizes that he never could worship the Lord even close to the way the seraphim does. When God shows who we really are then how can we stand before Him and think we are somebody? Isaiah was a righteous God fearing man by all outward standards, but he saw how sinful he truly was “Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips." What Isaiah feels is in view of God. Everything he goes through is in view of God's holiness. We must see the sinfulness of our hearts, in view of who God is. We need His grace to see it. trust in the work he is bringing about as a result of undoing you…

A lawblog

When I am frustrated, as the LSAT material has been getting more complex, I retreat. But the key to finding the correct pace is practice. The goal is to win the war, and it is acceptable to lose a battle now and then. The LSAT is a triathlon for the mind. To be continued....