it won't be long until morning comes

I woke up late again this morning. You snooze, you lose. what? I missed my bus + had to wait 25 minutes for the next one. sigh!

Today, on the bus, i remembered to eat the snack my aunt packed for me. The strawberries were sweet and satisfying. More snacks should be like that, which leads me to,

#3 Strawberries in korea are the best i ever had!

Anyway, for a few weeks now i've been making a 70 minute commute to work. Each way. That's about 3 hours of travel per day. Yikes. At least the time passes comfortably. The ride is monotonous, but also soothing and meditative, the utter lack of thinking unnecessary, no worry possible in this bus with its heated seats and quiet aisles. It is bliss.

Yet soon, i imagine, it will all become too boring to continue because continuing would be a sort of death and show a terrible lack of respect for my valuable time. So i'd like to move from Bundang, closer, within reach of my school, over the river, all that water, the bridge, all those miles away....to Ilsan, where i will live....alone?

No. No, i wouldn't. Not now. I live too far from my work but i am sure at this point that i should stay here, this is where i will be. More and more my uncle, aunt, their kids are truly becoming family. They constitute the only ties i still have to home and their presence is immeasurably comforting. My progress adjusting here is being followed and checked up on by family and friends abroad as well (this very blog is a testament to that!) and i'm grateful for all the extensions of support. Hopefully it is mutual!

surviving in korea #2

My friend remarked to me on the phone, "There's a line in the movie 'Juno' that i really liked...

Juno: I think i'm in love with you.

Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?

Juno: No, i mean, for real. Cause you're, like, the coolest person i've ever met, and you don't even have to try.

Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually."

We talked about how lots of things...like getting your errands done, buying bread, flossing your teeth and basically keeping your life from degenerating into a state of entropy requires extraordinary effort. And when life actually functions, it looks effortless. Isn't that ironic? Like a sculpture that looks effortlessly crafted or a one handed backhand that looks so carefree...things that take enormous amounts of effort, energy, training, thought to be distilled into one object or moment that looks as though it took no effort at all. What paradox!

During the grueling orientation + training week for CDI, i felt nothing like a teacher--not loud, not powerful, not affecting much at all. But something happened once i met the students--i felt prepared and did not panic. I only thought: Weird, this is exactly what i expected.

Although moving to Korea was a meditated decision, i am sitting here in a room much too big, already bored of devising lessons plans and feeling unsure of what the rest of the year will bring. But! I am here and i want to celebrate it, like d.eggers wrote, "revel in the simultaneous living of an experience and its echoes...the echoes making the experience not cheaper but richer, aha! being that much more layered, the depth luxurious, not soul-sucking or numbing but edifying, ramifying." so there is first the experience: me, moving here. then there are the echoes from these things having been done before (i guess moving in/out of atlanta/chicago) and the awareness of what i learned then, accepting and embracing those lessons as enrichment. and above all recognizing its value in the present. so,

#2 Harder, better, faster, stronger. finally finally finally.

surviving in korea

It's been 2 weeks but i am learning to survive in korea. it has been impossible to ignore so i have to write it out. this will be a little serious, mostly boring, but i promise, you won't be wasting your time.

#1 Koreans are aggressive shoppers!

My uncle and aunt asked if i wanted to join them on a food run to E-mart(a massive grocery store that also sells clothes/accessories). I was willing but not ready. There, i saw what was wrong with Korea, the glaring flaws of it, aghast, amazed. Look how things are! LOOK, at how, for instance, there are all these people pushing, climbing over each other to get on the elevator! Look at how their legs are working and strong enough to use the stairs! Look at how people charge past, and in their hurriedness, literally, move you aside because you are in their way! Have you heard about this? How if this happens, you just have to take it? It's completely ridiculous.

But soon it will be okay. Of course it will take time. A part of surviving here, i realize, is getting through the long day, fighting the weather and the crowds and then still holding a door open for someone.